Getting Lost

I know that I have only been working full-time for about a month and half, but I'll be honest. The time has flown. It seems like I am constantly working, constantly thinking, constantly dreaming. Amidst all of this it has been a struggle to really stay focused on Jesus.

Pastors work 50-60 hour work weeks (at least that's the range I've been living in) and on top of that I go home and generally think about work. I've really been consumed by it a lot.

And I realized last week what I've been putting off that has made work feel like work. I have been so focused on programs, relationships with people, meetings, brainstorming, talking, etc...that I have forgotten what is most important.

I forgot to just love Jesus, and be loved by Him. It is so hard because my mentality is to churn things out, to be as productive as I can while I am working. Now I don't always do the best work, but I certainly work hard when I work. (Not sure what that says about me) Somewhere along the way my bones became dry and my soul became weary and I wasn't sure why.

So on Friday I picked up a book and am almost finished with it. It is probably just your typical book about spiritual renewal, but for me, at this time, it has been necessary and awesome.

I have been so lost in the pace of life that I have forgotten to just stop sometimes and connect with God. We throw that term around a lot ("connect with God") but I can't describe how I have been missing that.

I'm sure that there will probably be many seasons of life where I go through this, but this first one has been particularly trying on my soul, on my relationships, pretty much on everything I am involved in.

I am trying to get lost in Jesus instead of getting lost in a job. Because when ministry feels like work all the time, it's probably time to get out!