thoughts, rants, cravings, and dreams

Do you ever wonder? This is my wondering lab. I need it. Life gets too busy and hectic, and I need this...

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Location: East Peoria, Illinois, United States

I am a 22 year old searching for my niche in the world. I am a recent graduate of Moody Bible Institute with a Bachelors of Science in Biblical Studies. I work at Northwoods Community Church in Peoria, Illinois with college students and jr. high students.

Monday, March 05, 2007


Today I got into the office a bit tired, a bit energized (several speaking engagements are running through my mind), a bit scattered, a bit messy, and really excited about what God is doing.

Then I opened my office door to find the messiest mess my office has ever seen. It was an eclectic mess too. Skateboards on the floor, a pitcher of Gatorade (I get thirsty) on the floor, Wal-Mart sacks on the floor, books on the floor. Then on top of my desk was a mess too. I had books all over the place. Random papers, some of which have to do with my health coverage that I have been to lazy to get signed and turned in. Pens and scratch paper with random notes from random phone calls and emails that I need to return. It took me nearly 30 minutes to organize it all.

As I began to clean everything up I noticed that my bible was underneath all the mess.

It is a certainty that being involved in 2+ ministries I am going to get things cluttered and there will be a wide range of stuff lying around in my office (i.e. skateboards and message prep). But the biggest certainty should be that my bible is on top of all the mess.

It's so funny how good of an illustration this is. In the midst of a crazy week last week and another crazy week coming, I've got to keep God on top of all the mess in my life. This will bring a little help to everything that is going on.

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Getting Lost

I know that I have only been working full-time for about a month and half, but I'll be honest. The time has flown. It seems like I am constantly working, constantly thinking, constantly dreaming. Amidst all of this it has been a struggle to really stay focused on Jesus.

Pastors work 50-60 hour work weeks (at least that's the range I've been living in) and on top of that I go home and generally think about work. I've really been consumed by it a lot.

And I realized last week what I've been putting off that has made work feel like work. I have been so focused on programs, relationships with people, meetings, brainstorming, talking, etc...that I have forgotten what is most important.

I forgot to just love Jesus, and be loved by Him. It is so hard because my mentality is to churn things out, to be as productive as I can while I am working. Now I don't always do the best work, but I certainly work hard when I work. (Not sure what that says about me) Somewhere along the way my bones became dry and my soul became weary and I wasn't sure why.

So on Friday I picked up a book and am almost finished with it. It is probably just your typical book about spiritual renewal, but for me, at this time, it has been necessary and awesome.

I have been so lost in the pace of life that I have forgotten to just stop sometimes and connect with God. We throw that term around a lot ("connect with God") but I can't describe how I have been missing that.

I'm sure that there will probably be many seasons of life where I go through this, but this first one has been particularly trying on my soul, on my relationships, pretty much on everything I am involved in.

I am trying to get lost in Jesus instead of getting lost in a job. Because when ministry feels like work all the time, it's probably time to get out!

Friday, February 02, 2007

Funny, funny

I was told that my blog is too serious, when I post that is. So tonight I am writing a funny one, or what is my attempt at writing a funny one.

So I just asked Bethany to say something funny and she replied with a sheepish grin, "Something funny." (Giggle, giggle, laugh, laugh)"What?" "What'd you write? What'd you write? Funny face. Another funny face. Much laughter...What could you possibly be writing about? Chris is writing a blog right now (talking to Brent) laughing..."

That was the dialogue that took place when I asked Bethany to say something funny. Enjoy the rest of your night.

Monday, January 29, 2007

Believe me vs. Follow me

I have had some discussions on this topic in recent conversations with people. My house group has had some questions about Jesus, whether believing in Him and saying a prayer is the only way that someone knows Jesus or if there are some people who don't pray a prayer but live their life following after Jesus is a way to God, and ultimately Heaven.

Take a look at the Gospels. Jesus says 5 times "Believe in me!" He says 20 times, "Follow me!"
In both instances He is talking about salvation. It is interesting to me because this means that Jesus put more emphasis on following after Jesus than He did on just believing in Him.

Put short: Lot's of people BELIEVE in Jesus. But far fewer follow after Him with their lives. I don't care if I prayed a prayer...I care about following after Him.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Casting out Demons

I was reading in Matthew a minute ago where Jesus heals two demon-possessed men. Jesus was in the region of Gadarenes and two men who were demon possessed met him. These guys lived in a cemetery and no one ever went passed them because they were so afraid of them. But when Jesus came through these men met him and immediately recognized that He was Jesus (God) and that they were in a bit of trouble.

Instantly they begin pleading with Jesus to cast them out into a nearby herd of pigs. So Jesus obliged and threw their spirits into said pigs and watched them plunge down a hillside into a lake.

What I find interesting about this passage is not that Jesus was able to cast these demons out, but instead that these demons KNEW what was coming. They knew that Jesus was going to do what He did, and they begged Him to basically be nice in the way that He did it.

How awesome is it that Jesus was/IS so powerful that not even demons could/CAN stand against Him!

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

The power of God

I was reading in Acts today where Peter raises a woman who was dead, to life. It got me thinking...

How influential can someone be today for the sake of Christ?
We live in a culture now that sees spiritual gifts, and signs and healing as old things. We read in Scripture about miracles that were performed in the name of Jesus all the time. It's all over the place. So why don't we believe in miracles happening today?

I remember when I was on a missions trip in Guatemala. There was a young boy who was in very bad shape. He needed a respirator to help him breath or he may not make it. As we were sitting and praying with the orphanage leaders I realized something. These people have got something that I don't have. They prayed something like this,

"God we KNOW that can and will heal this child. We place him in Your hands. Father, heal this boy. Make him healthy again."

And I remember walking away from this experience changed in how I viewed prayer. Here I was a young man who has everything I need to live watching someone who doesn't have much of anything pray expectantly on the Lord. No one in this orphanage has much of anything. I thought, how could this person trust that Jesus cared A lot about them? They don't even have enough food to go around.

I was challenged. These people had faith, a certain type of faith that I hadn't experienced up until this point.

Long story was raised, a respirator was purchased, and the boy was healed. But maybe the most important thing that happened through all of this had nothing to do with the health of the boy. Maybe God was moving in the hearts of me and those who had come to serve that week. Maybe God was moving in the souls of the children at the orphanage. Maybe God was moving in the souls of the staff (paid with housing and food) there.

The power of God is so far beyond what my mind can fathom.
I need to trust Him more.
I need to pray expectantly more.
I need to realize that He is in charge and that He has blessed me so far beyond what is needed.

Thank you, Jesus.

Monday, January 15, 2007


Today is my first official day in the office as a full-time employee at Northwoods. I must admit that it feels good to have a job, be done with school (for the time being), and have at least a small sense of security. But I already found out that coffee isn't a substitute for sleep, nor is it wise to drink 4 cups of it because not only do you spend a long time in the bathroom, you also start to shake.