Boring week

Man, what a pathetic week it has been. I haven't had much school work to do. I haven't done very much work. I have hardly seen Bethany. And I have hardly hung out with anyone with the intention of being impactful. And...I'm still sick. I hate this. Life has come to a screeching halt. Right now, I'm sitting in my room typing on this dang computer instead of sitting at Northwoods like I'm supposed to be doing. Oh well, they understand. Or, even better, I could be at Carver Arena watching Bradley knock the crap outta ISU. Oh well...right? I haven't really gotten past yesterday's crap. It may take more than a day or two. I don't know, it just seems like the direction I'm headed for is boring, unending, and indecisive all at the same time. I have goals and plans, but these goals have all kind of been put on hold. Who knows??? Why do I need to know everything? I suppose God knows, but that isn't satisfying. I feel like I need something more than that. Is it too much to ask that I know where I am going to be in 2 years? Perhaps it is. Is it too much to ask that I know where I'll be in 1 one year? Man, this is getting crazy. I sound like a suicide patient. By no means, really, I'm not...it's just...life feels so incomplete sometimes. (I cannot believe I sound like what I hate...indie, poetic, and dumb) Though I guess completeness comes at the end when I am on the doorstep in Heaven waiting to go in. But isn't that what life is all about? Walking up the endless amount of steps until we reach the end? Where am I in those steps??? I guess that's all I've got for now....a knowledge of steps