Divorced Parents

As someone with divorced parents, I feel qualified to talk about this subject. Or at least, I need to talk about this...

I have grown up (since I was 12) not having too much expected of me. All that was expected of me was to go to school, get decent grades, and to basically not cause any trouble. Well, I must say that these expectations have caused what I now consider limitations...
Let me explain.

I am now 21 years old and am almost graduated from college. I have a part-time job. Outside of school, work, and relationships, I really don't want to do very much else. Now, you might think that this is enough. But here is my point...
Instead of my father telling me I need to do something for him, he'll ask me nicely, and often try to motivate me with money. Sometimes this isn't enough for me to want to do something for him. This pattern started years ago when I was young, and my parents had just been divorced, they both tried to be my "best friend".

So through years of "asking me" me to do things for him, and him offering money or other rewards, I am afraid that I haven't gained a proper respect for hard work. Charlie put it excellently yesterday when we were talking when he said,
"There is a certain romance with hard work and the self"

I thought, "gee, I get the point, but I wish I lived that ideology.

At some point I have to begin to take ownership of my own actions, but it is extremely difficult since I was never enstowed with real disciplines in my life.

And I get why both of my parents stopped disciplining and started befriending. They both wanted me to forgive them. But the truth is, I would have eventually forgiven them for getting a divorce and changing our family forever. At 12 years old, however, I needed something more. I needed a parent to push me, I needed a parent to piss me off sometimes, and I needed a parent who could teach me the reality of romantic work.

Now here I am today, I have forgiven both of my parents for what has happened with my family, but I am still lacking discipline. And that bad motivating continues...

(Message from my dad this morning)

"Chris, it's a beautiful sunny 60 degrees outside. If you get the time, do you think you could clean up the front yard? There are a lot of sticks all over the place, and the yard could use to be mowed. I could give you some extra spending money if you want to take a run at the yard. Also, take an inventory of your closet and see if you need any shorts, or t-shirts for this spring and summer. I could give you some more spending cash so you can buy some clothes this weekend."

Here I am, 21 years old, still lacking discipline, and my father is still trying to be my best friend.